Still here...

It has been a crazy few weeks.

So, last time I posted? I had just gotten my windshield smashed. Just my luck, the glass installer guy won't leave me alone. He's somewhat cute and funny...and has a pony tail and a criminal record. Barf. So of course that means he's wildly attracted to me and will not take a hint.

On a more positive note, I had an early Christmas miracle over the weekend: my kid brother called me. Randomly and out of the blue. He was going to a party about 10 minutes from my house and wanted to know if I could pick him up, if he happened to have a couple drinks. (Kid brother has had his own brushes with the law.) As luck would have it, I wasn't doing anything, so I drove him (and his lady friend) to and from the party, then they crashed at my place.

I was glad to have company- had a little 'hood incident that night. I was folding laundry around 1am (yes, I was home doing laundry at 1am on a Saturday night...welcome to my wild and crazy life) when I heard a scuffle outside. It sounded like a man and woman fighting. It kept escalating, and I was starting to wonder if I should call the police...when I heard the woman yell "he's trying to stab me. Call 911!" So I called 911. When the dispatcher tried to connect me to the officer, we had a bad connection. They traced my number and I think thought -I- was the one in distress...within a couple minutes 4 cruisers were at my front door. And, umm, although I own the house, I live on the second floor. So they knocked on the door...of my tenants' apartment. Thankfully they were still awake and not completely freaked out by the PPD knocking in the middle of the night.

And the scuffling couple? Nowhere to be found. I felt a little silly. My tenants had heard the fight, though, so at least I didn't feel like I was imagining things! (Although I was mildly disturbed that the tenants didn't think maybe they should call 911.)

So, the moral of the story is that I was very glad kid brother called and stayed over...not a great night to be home alone!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hood life ain't easy

Had another incident last night. I didn't realize it until this morning when I went to let Brewster out. I saw this:




Yup, that's my car. After a brick was thrown at my tenant's car, I had them take my spot in the garage. I figured if a car was going to get damaged, I'd rather it be mine.

Guess what...a car got damaged. It was mine.

That makes two nights someone throws a brick at a car in my driveway. I'm freaking out. I'm uneasy in my own house. I don't like it. Here's hoping it doesn't happen again!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Things that go bump in the night

We had a little incident in the 'hood last night: someone threw a brick at my tenant's car. Thankfully it hit a vehicle, not a person - in fact, everyone else in the house slept through the whole thing. Except me. I heard a crash in the back yard and was convinced someone was trying to break in. So I grabbed Brewster and a flashlight and headed outside to defend my property.

In hindsight, a very stupid idea. I'm not quite sure what I thought my Boston Terrier and I were going to do scare away a burglar, but no one was out there anyway. Good thing! I literally slept with one eye open, paranoid they'd come back. Not a fun night...things like that make me miss living in a cowtown.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

People are crazy

I'm writing this with a snoring Brewster parked in my lap.

I don't know what got me started on this, but lately I've been wondering how his last owner gave him away. Obviously I'm glad they did - because if they hadn't, I wouldn't have him now. But I can't imagine how someone was able to look at this sweet little face and give him away. To a shelter to boot.



Sleepy boy.

I can't even imagine telling him we're going for a ride, then taking him somewhere and leaving him. For good. I can't imagine doing that to any animal, let alone this sweet little guy.




I can't imagine watching him get excited to go for a ride, knowing I wasn't bringing him back. Even if I was living out of my car, I'd bring him with me. I have an understanding with my parents and friends - if, God forbid, something happens to me, someone would take Brewster. I just don't get it when dogs are dumped at shelters due to someone moving, or a "change in family circumstances." I wouldn't move somewhere I couldn't bring my dog! And if something absolutely horrible happened and I absolutely couldn't keep him, I can't imagine bringing him to a shelter- I'd find someone for him.



Anyway. Enough of my soapbox. Especially after the crazy week I've had, I am way all aware that there are some wacky people out there. And even though I don't agree with his former owner's decision to give him away, I'm definitely glad they did.

It's already coming up on one year since I adopted him. He's a pain sometimes, but he's also a total lovebug and incredibly sweet. I'm so, so glad he's mine.



I was so sad after my last dog died. I couldn't imagine that I'd be able to love another dog as much, but it was also really quiet in the house without the pitter patter of four little paws running around. Brewster has been such a great addition to my life!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's been a rough couple weeks on the dating front.
You know how bad things happen in threes? I thought I was off the hook. But no.
I'll start from the beginning. My latest prospect has gone rogue on me: he has taken up with another girl. A long-distance one, to boot. So I've been a little bummed. This guy is great- he's smart, cute, we get along great and we're two peas in a pod. I thought things had potential. Instead I've been subjected to a bunch of Facebook pics of him and long-distance girl on a weekend away.
Another Facebook pick-me-up: a guy I dated a few years back is now happily married and just had a baby. He created a blog to keep friends and family updated, and he posts updates on Facebook daily. I'm happy for him, honestly. But I'm just a little sensitive about that stuff now.
Because the final part of this trifecta: the guy I dated just a few months ago...is now engaged. We ended things in March; he got engaged in May. And now they have a wedding website. And it's weird. Out of all the things that bother me about it - and there are sooo many: that he was dating both of us around the same time, and that she was the one he picked, even though she's much less attractive than me; that they have a cheesy engagement website, complete with a "janeplusjack@gmail" email address (not their real names); that they have cheesy "engagement pictures" of them lying juxtaposed in the grass, and of course the close up of the ring, with her hand posed over his - what gets to me the most is that they're registered at Kohl's. Kohl's!
This is a guy who's lived and traveled all over the world. And, um, not to mention - this is his second marriage. I thought he was above the whole gift registry completely - or if he did register, it would be a chip-in thing towards an African safari honeymoon trip, or something like that. Not a registry for potholders and towels at Kohl's!
So I thought with that horrific completion to my dating disaster triumvirate, I was done for a bit with the shit magnet-ness. Nope.
Went out the other night with a friend to watch the presidential debate. Guy at the bar starts talking to me. He's older (like, um, 50-ish older) but kinda cute...and he has a southern accent. So I figure, what the heck. With the terrible run I've had lately, things are bound to turn around. Right?
Wrong. He seemed fine enough - charming and pleasant. A few warning bells went off, but I chose to ignore them: he was talking about flying me out to the next place he's going (he travels a lot for work), and taking me out the next time he's in RI for work in a couple weeks. He mentioned kids and an ex-wife. Surprisingly that didn't bother me a whole lot. And he came on pretty strong, but after the way things have been going lately, a little flattery was kinda nice. But something just wasn't adding up.
He never called or texted. Given how strong he came on, that was a little odd. And it hit me: he's not divorced. Sure enough, a little google research confirmed my fears. Sure, it's possible that he's very recently divorced or separated, but I doubt it.
I'm disgusted. I'm also becoming increasingly convinced that I'm going to be single forever. And given the options that are out there, single's not so bad.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:More dating disasters

34....going on 5

Earlier this week I had a work event. I was a little stressed - it's part of a larger campaign we're doing.

At any rate..my dad was a few miles away for a meeting. He had made chicken corn soup the night before, I've been fighting a bug, and he thought we should try to meet up so he could give me a container of soup.

Fine. In fact, incredibly thoughtful. But our schedules didn't really quite match up. So he told me to leave my car unlocked and he'd leave the soup in my car.

But I forgot. I was stressed and busy and in a hurry. Although I appreciated his good intentions, I was kind of annoyed with the timing. Soup wasn't one of my priorities.

So the event went on. Toward the end, things were winding down. I got paged to the stage.

Guess who showed up at my event with a quart of soup?

When my door was locked, good old dad was afraid to leave the soup on the roof of the car. So he came on in. When I left the event, my dad was out in the lobby, talking to my boss, and holding a quart of soup.

I know I'm really lucky. My dad is quite possibly the nicest man in the world, for real. But I was also completely mortified.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Craziness

The past month has been completely unrelenting. I absolutely love my job, but the past few weeks have been really intense. It has just been so incredibly busy, and added to that- I've been crazy busy after work too. Family stuff, extracurricular stuff, random volunteer stuff/added projects... The end result is that I've been burning the candle at both ends in a big way. Case in point: I had an event last night and didn't get home til about 9, then had to be at another event for 8:15 this morning (30min away and I am soooo not a morning person). Went straight from the event to a meeting, which ran late...and I'm on a deadline for a project tomorrow. So I stayed at work til a little after 6, at which point I realized I was no longer being productive. I was supposed to meet friends out, but instead came home and put on my PJs. I'm BEAT.

Or at least that's what I'm chalking this evening up to. I just bawled my eyes out watching, of all things, The Vampire Diaries. And a repeat to boot. I'll admit: it's totally one of my favorite shows (along with Gossip Girl and Nancy Grace...clearly a lot of highbrow programming in this house!). But bawl-worthy? Not so much.

Poor Brewster does not know what to make of this all. As much as he's a brat a lot of the time, he really is a little sweetie...he was very distressed to see me upset, and tried to lick away my tears.

I'm hoping things start calming down a little, but I really don't see an end in sight. It's all good stuff that I want to be doing, but I need to find a way to balance everything a little better.

Plus I need to spend more time with this guy:



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wordless Wednesday

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shame, shame

There's a tumblr called "dogshaming" that is making my life right now- I laugh out loud every time I read it!

I think I have a worthy submission...my only problem was figuring out what to "shame" Brewster for!!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm back...

Down, but not out.

Today I briefly thought Brewster had been dognapped.

I was doing yard work on the side of the house. Since the whole yard is fenced, I just let him roam while I weeded. At one point I thought I heard the gate open and close, but never heard a car pull in, so didn't think much of it.

When I came around the side, the back door had been closed, and Brewster was nowhere to be found. Being my father's daughter, I started to panic.

My first floor tenants let me in, and pointed out that third floor tenant had come home. Turns out he brought B in as well. Apparently he never thought that since the door was open and the dog was outside, maybe I was outside too?

Also today, someone apparently gave the neighbor kids some kazoo/whistle things. So the kids have been blaring on them. All.night. I'm about to lose my mind. Whoever gave rowdy kids kazoos should be locked in a room with the kids and the kazoos. See how funny it is then.

And finally, the other big news in my life: after being busted for almost a year, I finally had the pilot light fixed on my oven. So my oven works again! (Yeah, I cook a lot. Ha.) I planned to celebrate by baking a cake tonight....but realized I'm missing key ingredients. Like eggs. (What can I say...clearly domestic isn't my thing.)

One day maybe I'll get my act together...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sick day

Who gets bronchitis in the middle of summer? This girl. The good news is that my doctor is wonderful...and not afraid to prescribe meds. I'm on a z-pack, inhaler, cough syrup AND nasal spray.

And of course this guy is keeping a close eye on me:




My grandmother still isn't doing fabulous, but I think that's just the way things are going to be from now on. Pancreatic cancer is a nasty, nasty disease. But we are so blessed to have a really great family...everyone is pulling together, so that really does help. Over the weekend, my cousin and his family flew in from Canada to visit. Even though it was a sad reason they were here, it was really great to see them. And his kids are just the cutest little things ever.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Rainy day fun

It has been raining cats and dogs here all day. I had planned to do yard work, but obviously that didn't happen. So, instead I slept in AND napped. I won't admit how much!

I was also supposed to visit a friend just outside of Boston, but that fell through too. Just one of those days I guess.

So instead now I'm hanging in with this guy:



I'm the first to admit- I'm not much of a cook. At all. But lately I've been trying to branch out a little- I'm trying to eat healthier, and the best way to control what goes into what I'm eating is to just make it myself.

This isn't exactly healthy (although I guess olive oil has some health benefits, right?) but tonight I decided to make aglio olio- olive oil with roasted garlic. I had never roasted garlic before, and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was! Definitely something I'll be doing again. And, a nice side benefit is that my house smells amazing. I picked up a nice crusty baguette from a local bakery, plus a chilled glass of my favorite wine (from a vineyard in RI- Sakonnet Vineyards Vidal Blanc)...I am in absolute heaven.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The hits keep coming...

I've had a string of very bad luck over the past 6 months or so, but out of everything, the latest is the worst- my amazing, smart, plucky, fearless grandmother has Stage IV pancreatic cancer. I'm heartbroken. According to her, the worst part is that she can't eat ice cream anymore (she's having a really hard time keeping food down). Ice cream is her absolute favorite food- every year for Lent that's what she gives up. She was completely fine until just a few weeks ago. It's so awful.

I've been so, so blessed in that both of my grandparents have had exceptionally good health up until the past 5 years or so. They were both really active- just a few years ago we road-tripped around Minnesota together.

Then my grandfather started slowing down. It turns out that he's had a series of "mini-strokes"- so small he didn't even realize he was having them, but the cumulative effect was that dementia set in. My grandmother has picked up the slack and taken care of him. It's not like he doesn't know us or anything like that, but he can't do the day-to-day stuff anymore: drive, cook, etc. It's a cruel twist that my grandmother, who's been healthy as a horse until this, is now going downhill fast. My poor grandfather is going to be lost without her.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

STG gets adventurous

I survived Ethiopian food. And, dare I say...I liked it. One of the best first dates I've had, ever.

We had great conversation (helped in large part by the two bottles of wine we consumed). He mentioned a comedian who said something about how, in relationships, for the first six months you're not really dating the person, you're dating their "representative." Because at first people are acting on their best behavior and not really letting it all hang out. We both agreed we don't do the whole representative thing- I can't be bothered. Yes, I'm messy. And my dog is a pain in the neck. But love it or hate it, this is who I am.

So. I guess I'm about to put my money where my mouth is- he's stopping by (did I mention we live about a mile from each other?!) and I am in my pajamas. And glasses. And my hair's up in a ponytail. Yikes.

And Brewster? Is being psycho today. I left him in the car for 15-20 minutes (long story) and he CHEWED THROUGH HIS LEASH. All the way through.

No wonder I get migraines!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Catch up

It's been a while. Things have been crazy in the 'hood. After much waiting, I finally got my new (to me, anyway) car!! Yes, I bought a car on eBay. No shame in my game- insurance companies don't pay out a whole lot when they total your '04 Jetta with 120k miles on it. And this girl has champagne taste on a Pabst Blue Ribbon budget. It's an '05, but only has 48k miles on it.




More exciting news: I have a date tonight. Not sure which is more shocking: that my eBay car finally arrived, or that I snagged myself a date. This picky eater is really nervous- he suggested an Ethiopian place. Things may not end well...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Good Lord

I may or may not have drunk emailed my grandmother.

And by may, I mean I did.

Although I wouldn't say drunk emailed, per se...more like tipsy emailed.

And it was nothing offensive. It was umm...a bible verse. And a forwarded copy of Joel Osteen's daily affirmation.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Let the good times roll

With today's unseasonably warm weather, my neighbors decided to start celebrating summer a little early. Since my house sits at the intersection where one street ends at mine - aka, a fairly big chunk of open space for the middle of the 'hood - the prime set-off spot for fireworks is riiight in front of my house. Awesome.

A more adventurous person would probably see it as a front row seat for the show. Me? Not so much. And Brewster? Definitely not. Since he's new to the 'hood, today was his initiation into the hellishness that is legalized fireworks. He was not a happy camper. First he just shook and tried to burrow next to me.







Then he got all weird and sat up staring at the couch cushions.


"If I can't see it, maybe it'll go away?!?"



This is him trying to hunker down.

If tonight was any indication, it's going to be a longggg summer. And I love summer. But I really don't like fireworks.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Return of the prodigal son

My kid brother is moving back to town. And by "kid brother" I mean 30 years old. 30 going on 15.

It amazes me that we were raised in the same house, because we could not be more different. I'm the rule follower; he's the free spirit- pretty much the stereotypical oldest child/youngest child dynamic.

I love him dearly, but he drives me crazy. For starters, he's given my parents more than a few gray hairs. To put it bluntly, he really doesn't treat them well. At all. And that really bugs me. I may not always agree with them, but our parents have been amazingly good to both of us- they have always put us ahead of their own needs, and they've been there for both of us more than most other parents I know. Especially kid brother, who's had more scrapes and needed more bailing out than most. I wish he appreciated them a little more. Actually a lot more. Especially my dad, who's especially sensitive. And has a heart condition. (In my family, it's my dad who's the softie and my mom who's the tough one...kinda backwards. I'm much, much closer to my dad than I am to my mom.) I worry that one day my dad's going to have a stroke, because he gets so worked up over stuff kid brother does.

But. After years of fighting it, I've finally accepted that I can't change someone else. My brother is who he is. I don't have to agree with everything, but I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. Sometimes it makes me sad- I wish we were closer...or even close at all! I see some of my cousins, who take vacations together and genuinely enjoy hanging out with their siblings- it's like built-in best friends. But I can't force it, and I'm done setting myself up for failure and disappointment.

So now I just try to be there for him if needed, but not push too much. It's hard, because sometimes I want to slap him silly. Or slap my parents silly for enabling his bad behavior. But...I know they're all doing the best they can. My parents treat him much, much differently than they treat me, but I also have a much better relationship with them than my brother does.

This week - strike that, the past few weeks - has been ROUGH. Just way too much going on. Car shopping, insurance stuff, house stuff, work stuff, friend stuff...just way, way too much. And in the midst of everything, my parents were going crazy because they were trying to line up a job for kid brother. Which somehow I got roped into. (Don't ask.) Not what I needed.

So far 2012 has not been particularly kind to me. I'm really hoping that the second half gets better!! The good news is that despite all the craziness, I'm still standing. The house is still standing too, even though there are days I can't believe I signed on for all this.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mortified

Nothing like getting matched with someone you work with on eharmony. I am completely mortified right now!! I have a very iffy attitude about online dating- I'm really not sure about it, and feel a certain amount of...shame, I guess? So I try to keep it on the DL that I'm even doing it. I think this is a sign I need to get my butt off EH!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Behaving like an adult

I'm still shopping for a "new" car. I've made an executive decision: although I'd love to get a fun car, I'm going to get something practical. Any leftover money from the insurance settlement will go toward a badly needed kitchen remodel. Good lord, I guess this is what being a grown up is all about. I'm a car person- I love cars. I want something I'm excited to drive. But I'm compromising. I'm not getting something completely boring, but it's not going to be my dream car either. I didn't have a car payment before, and I really don't want one now.

I'm also bringing a dish to Easter at my aunt's house. I feel like a legit responsible adult since I'm no longer showing up to family functions empty-handed. Last week I went to my (other) aunt and uncle's house and brought pastry. If I keep it up people are going to expect this regularly!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Farewell, old friend

I had to clean out the Jetta this week. The salvage yard was coming to pick it up yesterday. It was a very sad day for me, and a very sad end for a car that's been really good to me.



It looked so pathetic sitting in the lot with no license plates!

I thought about all the life changes that car has been with me through- I broke up with my long term boyfriend (and lord only knows how many short term ones), road tripped to North Carolina solo in that car, and went through multiple jobs in the seven years I had the Jetta. It still had Mac's fur stuck between the seat cushions, and the front vents were permanently askew from times he pitched fits. When I cleaned out the trunk I found one of his favorite treats- when he knew he was going for a ride, he would often grab a chewee to take along with him!

I bought the Jetta brand new, and I was SO proud the day I brought it home. I had wanted a silver Jetta from the time I got my learner's permit so I was really excited to finally have one! Until I bought my house, that was the biggest investment I had ever made. And, best of all- it was paid off. Ironically,the month I bought my house was also the month I made my last car payment- the timing could not have been better. I'm stretched pretty thin with house stuff already, so I really don't want a car payment. Sadly, a 2004 Jetta with 120k miles on it isn't worth a whole lot on paper, even though it was very valuable to me! Even though it had a ton of miles, all of those miles were from me, and I knew it had been well cared for. I was really hoping it would make it to 200k, or at least a couple more years - and now that I have a 5 mile round-trip commute, I wasn't putting much wear on it, so I thought a couple more years was a reasonable goal.

But, that is not the case now, and instead I'm shopping for a replacement. This time I'm not shopping emotionally- I'm going to have to get something practical and affordable. After all, I'm a homeowner now! I don't really have the budget for a "fun" car. And yes, insurance has offered a settlement, but as is the case with older cars, it's really not enough to replace what I had.

I keep reminding myself that things could have been much, much worse- if the other driver had been going just a little bit faster, we would have been badly hurt (or worse). And I am grateful we're ok. The good thing about cars is they can be replaced. But I'm still a little sad.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The hits keep coming

It has been a rough couple weeks: split up with the boy, a nasty stomach bug that just won't quit...and then last week I was in a car accident. A guy ran through a red light and t-boned my car:



It was scary, but I'm really, really lucky it wasn't worse. My friend was in the car with me, and he had Brewster in his lap. Brewster was totally fine, thank goodness, and we are sore and scared, but ok.

The car...not so ok. But it's fixable or replaceable, which ever it comes to. I'm still waiting for the police report, so I can't really get the ball rolling with insurance without it. So I'm carless for the time being, and I don't know if my car will be repaired or totaled. It's been a pain in the neck, but I keep reminding myself that it could have been a lot worse.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wordless Wednesday

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Kicked when you're down

I've still got the vicious stomach bug, and, to add insult to injury...things with the guy did not work out. Not gonna lie, I'm bumming.

Ironically we made it through my bionic arm brace - I thought that would send him running in the opposite direction, but it didn't - and he even hung around through the first day of my nasty stomach flu. (Which yes, was just two days ago. Two days. Everything with us was fine this weekend.) He even made me pancakes and rubbed my back after I threw up. So today came a little out of left field.

We weren't ever "exclusive." So I knew that there was a good chance there were other girls in his life. And I hadn't totally cut out the other guys in mine. But I was ok with that, for the most part.

There were a few things here and there at bugged me- nothing that was a deal breaker, but stuff that I could see turning into a deal breaker down the road. For example: our lifestyles are completely different. I'm not dead-set on staying here my whole life, but I'm currently living 20 miles from where I grew up, and I'm super close to my family. I have a straight up 9-5 working for The Man. I own a house and need to know I have a regular paycheck. I like stability. He's really transient- basically lives out of a couple suitcases. His family and friends are all over the world. His job is unpredictable. His lifestyle is NOT conducive to having a family.

I was ok with all that, for now, but I could see it becoming a problem later. And there were a few other much bigger issues that I was having a hard time being ok with now.

He's divorced. His marriage ended because of infidelity. He didn't just cheat one time; he had a relationship with someone else that led to the breakup of his marriage. That bothered me. And I had a hard time because (and this is something I'm not proud of, but) I've cheated in past relationships. So I like to think that the adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't true, because I'd like to think there's hope for me.

But it bothered me that he was committed enough to one person that he got down on one knee and promised to spend the rest of his life with her, and then two years into it, he changed his mind. I know that's harsh, but I also know that would have been in the back of my mind.

The biggest issue was that he's an atheist. Not something I knew coming in. And if I had known, I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. My feelings on religion are hard for me to talk about- being raised catholic, I'm just not super comfortable verbalizing how I feel about God. And although I'm certainly not practicing now, I do still identify myself as catholic. Even though my beliefs don't necessarily jive with all the catholic teachings, I do believe in God and my faith is important to me.

So things were far from ideal, and yet, I really liked this guy. A lot. It's been so long since I actually opened myself up to someone- years, actually. It was scary as hell for me. Having it not work out is a tough blow. And the worst part is I'm broke and sick- so I can't take myself shopping to cheer myself up, and I can't even drown my sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's . This really, really sucks.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

How I'm spending my sick day

I'm home sick today, not fun. I've had some kind of stomach issue for the past couple days. Brewster is psyched that I'm home with him!

Random observation: you can go months without watching a soap opera, yet pick up right where you left off! Y&R and B&B, I'm looking at you. Still Nikki and Victor/Brooke and Ridge going back and forth.

Here's what we've been up to all day:








- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Burnout

I'm so glad this week is almost over!! This has been one of those weeks where I feel like I'm just getting it from all sides. Work is crazy, friends are crazy, other stuff is crazy...I've reached my limit. The only logical explanation I've got is that there's a full moon.




B looks like a little old man when he sleeps. He's snuffling and snoring next to me right now.

Random pet peeve: when someone cheats at Words With Friends. It infuriates me. I'm a total word nerd- I've got a pretty decent vocabulary. So when someone - who, let's be honest, isn't the sharpest tack in the drawer - keeps throwing down words I've never even heard of....something's shady. It's really freaking annoying me!

Worst part: it's someone who was on the boo list. Was. His appeal was fading, but this totally killed it. Guys who cheat at nerd games totally tick me off. I think it's indicative of larger asshole tendencies. Case in point: the then-boyfriend of one of my college friends cheated at Trivial Pursuit several years ago. On the final, game ending hub question. He told my team we had the wrong answer. We had guessed on the answer, so when he said we were wrong, we didn't know any better. Then we made it into the hub again, and we KNEW we had the right answer. Since we won anyway, he admitted that our previous hub answer was correct as well. I've hated him since. And guess what? I was right- he's not a nice guy. Except now they're married.

Cheating at WWF (and Trivial Pursuit, and whatever else...) is a turnoff for numerous reasons. First, it grosses me out that someone isn't smart enough to hold their own in a stupid word game. I like smart guys who can keep up a witty banter and talk about random nerdy stuff. Someone who's not even smooth enough to cheat at WWF subtly just doesn't cut it. And also- I think there's something to be said for losing gracefully. I've certainly had plenty of practice! We can't win all the time, and you have to be able to take the punches. And be a man about it, for pete's sake! If you're not ok with your shortcomings, don't play the game. But mostly, it just takes the fun out of it. What's the point of playing if you're fixing the game?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Injured pup

Brewster was jumping around on the couch tonight and I noticed little spots of blood. At first I freaked out..then gave him a once-over. Somehow he scraped the "knuckle" pad on one of his back legs. I couldn't find medical tape, but fortunately he's little enough that band-aids fit around his leg. Once I chased him down, he was actually really good about letting me clean and bandage his leg! He hasn't even tried to pick at his bandage.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Brewster's bad habit

Brewster is a total lovebug. He really is the sweetest little thing. Every time I look at him, I just can't believe someone gave him away- and to a shelter to boot.

But he does one thing that really drives me nuts (well, besides the horrible gas): he is constantly licking his paws. I know it's a nervous habit, but I try not to let him do it because I don't want him to wear down his pads.

And I can't help but wonder- why do I always end up with a neurotic dog?? Mac was on doggie Prozac, bless his little heart. I really don't want to put Brewster on it too, but if he won't stop his OCD paw licking I don't know what else to do. I don't think Bitter Apple would work with him because he will eat ANYTHING. One time he was bugging me for food so bad, I gave him a lemon slice just to spite him. I thought it would teach him a lesson- instead he started licking it.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Uncharted territory

My relationship past has been checkered, to say the least. It takes a lot for me to fall for a guy, but when I do....I really do. And, being of a certain age (cough, over 30), I've had my heart broken along the way. My friend Sass jokes that the guys in my life have a pattern: "I love you, you're the most amazing person I've ever met, I want to be with you forever...ok, goodbye!"

That has pretty much literally happened. More than once. So I think it's understandable that I'm a little guarded now.

And as for type? I don't have one. There's just an unquantifiable "it" that's either there, or not. A psychic once told me that I'm perceptive to someone's energy, and that's what attracts me. I don't put much stock in promises from psychics, but that's actually a pretty accurate way to describe it.

So why am I feeling so analytical? I met a guy. This is the first time in a really long time that I've actually had feelings for someone. And it is absolutely terrifying me.

I'm a control freak when it comes to relationships- probably why I haven't been in one for so long! Being in this weird in-between stage is driving me insane. I know I really like this guy. I'm not ready to commit, and I don't think he is either. And while I want to still keep my options open...I hate the thought of him keeping his options open.

Being single and over 30 can be rough terrain- most of my friends are married and have been for quite some time. And while I'm perfectly happy being the third wheel with my girlfriends and their husbands for social outings, they really can't relate to what it's like to date now.

What it all boils down to is that when I find myself having a freak out like this, most of my friends don't really understand. So I'm kind of on my own trying to figure things out. And that's a drag.

The good news is at least I still have this guy:



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Three strikes, I'm out

Busted arm, "monthly friend"...and now a viral infection to boot. Not to mention the fun of Valentine's Day, aka "singles awareness day." This has not been my week!

The good news is that Brewster had a fabulous vday- I gave him a four-pack of squeaky tennis balls and his eyes almost bugged out of his head. Poor thing was in a frenzy, he was so excited.





That intent stare was focused on his beloved tennis ball. He was about to leap out of his skin when I took that pic!




My furry valentine.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Getting back in the swing of things

This week totally kicked my butt! I went back to work, and while it's great to be getting back to normal, I have been totally wiped out all week. It didn't help that my boss was out the last few days for a conference, so I was holding down the fort solo. But, everything got done (I hope) much to my shock. When I looked at my to-do list on Friday, I really didn't think I'd get it all done.

I went for my post-op doctor's appointment this week, and it went great. My recovery is going about as well as possible (knock on wood!!). My stitches are out and I can finally see the back of my arm. And man, what a sight for sore eyes....I was SHOCKED at my post-op visit to learn just how big the plate is in my arm!!! I have TEN screws. It really is a bionic arm!









Brewster is still really unhappy that I can't do as much as usual. He's actually harassing me right now! And tonight I have a date...someone new. I'm a little nervous to show up with my robo-arm, but we'll see how it goes!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Back in the 'hood

After staying with my parents for nearly two weeks, it was time to start living independently again. I'm going back to work on monday, and I wanted to give myself plenty of time to get acclimated to being on my own.

So of course my heat wasn't working and we got a big snow storm. And of course, after a freakishly mild winter, we get a snow storm when I've got a broken arm.

Happily, the heat is working again, although Brewster and I are getting adjusted to slightly lower temps than we've been enjoying at my parents'! (My furnace SUCKS and drinks oil...so I'm a super Scrooge with the heat!)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Update: going stir-crazy

I guess the theme for this week is that saying, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Or something like that. I think it's actually a bible verse. Anyway...I'm ready to get up and go, but my body is not.

The good news is that, according to my physical therapist, I'm doing great and recovery is going about at well as can be expected. I'm making progress: now I can take off the bionic arm brace for short amounts of time! This is a HUGE relief for me, because that thing is driving me nuts. Taking off the brace meant I could also check out my incision...caution, not for the faint of heart:



Sorry for the poor quality. And the red mark at the corner of my phone? For SMS reason I've got a couple random stitches off to the side. Not sure why, but I'm sure my doc will give me the scoop at my follow-up appointment next week! The news from physical therapy was all good- I'm healing really well, swelling is way down and the surgery was very successful.

I'm still at my parents' house. They're great and are taking such good care of Brewster and me...but I'm ready to be back in my own place! Only problem is I still can't tie my own shoes...

I think by the time we go home Brewster will probably double in size! My parents are spoiling him rotten and he is loving it. He's getting a little bit out of control and was just full of piss and vinegar tonight- harassing my mom relentlessly. I think they've created a monster- a food monster! I NEVER give him table food and gave them strict instructions to stick to it- not just to be a stickler- he has a very sensitive stomach! (I don't call him Funky Brewster for nothing. For such a small dog, he can clear a room.) But I keep catching them slipping him bites of food, and I know that there's a lot more I'm not seeing. Now whenever there's food around, B just expects some and gets really sassy if he doesn't get what he wants.



He does make a very nice lap desk though!



Poor quality pic, but that's B with his new BFF, my mom!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Glutton for punishment

Yesterday I had my first physical therapy appointment, and it was actually rather pleasant- all they did was hook me up to these electrode things to stimulate circulation. It felt like a massage!



And the physical therapist (my new BFF) took off my bandages so I could scratch my itchy arm...let me tell you, it was like a little bit of heaven!



I'm still staying at my parents' house. I'm very, very blessed to have them, and they have been wonderful about taking care of both me AND Brewster. But...I'm used to having my own space, and they are too- I'm sure I'm cramping their style just as much as they're cramping mine!

I'm going a little bit stir crazy. Not that I have any energy to do anything anyway. There's a guy that I guess you would say I'm talking to. He wants to come visit, maybe get me outta here for a little bit. If I was home in Providence, by myself, this would be a great idea. But here at my parents' house, this is a potential minefield! Not sure what I was thinking when I took him up on his offer. Actually, I do know what I was thinking- I was still in denial, thinking I would be back in Providence by now.

Anyway. The issues with having a gentleman caller visit me at my parents' house are myriad. For starters, my mom is the biggest nosebag I've ever met in my life. When I was in college, she used to "clean my room" every year- the day after I moved back to school. She would go through everything- she even read my diary. (She claimed she just "moved it," but she left it open on my bed. I said she was nosy, not smooth.)

And for some reason, she likes to throw things in my face a bit. I don't think she means to- I think she's just so nosy that she doesn't really stop to think about someone's feelings. She still asks me about guys I dated in high school!

The biggest issue though, is that this guy wasn't supposed to make it off the boo list. There's um, a bit of an age difference. As in he's a bit younger than me. Like 8 years. And when that age difference is 25 vs 33, I think it's a big deal. I really, really don't want to have to explain this to my parents!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Perspective

As miserable as I am right now, it could be so, so much worse. I have a broken arm- it's temporary and will heal. It could have been a much worse injury, or, I could be dealing with something else entirely.

I came across a prayer link for this poor sweet baby boy- I can't even imagine what his mom is going through right now. I'm sure she'd be grateful to trade situations. Tripp's story

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Gimpin' ain't easy

Today is the one week mark for my big injury. The pain is better- I don't feel like I want to tear my arm off all the time- but morale is low. I think it is sinking in that I can't just power through this with a positive attitude. Up until yesterday, I was really hoping to be back to work tomorrow. Now I realize how pie in the sky that was. I really thought if I just wished it better, I could somehow speed up my recovery. Mind over matter and all. Then I went to the Gap yesterday with my mom (she is the queen of pushing just a bit too hard- the day after my dad had a heart attack she was lecturing him that he couldn't "just lounge around the house all day") just to get comfy stuff I can wear now....and I nearly lost my shizz at the Gap. I'm tired and cranky. I'm sick of feeling like a broken bulldozer- I'm constantly dropping stuff and knocking stuff over. I feel so helpless- I can't even put my own hair in a clip. I'm sleeping in a recliner, so I'm really not sleeping super well. everything hurts- my muscles are sore from being in basically the same position all the time.

-sigh-

I know in the scheme of things, this too shall pass and I need to be more patient. I'm lucky that my injuries weren't worse. And I'm so, so lucky to have my parents so close by- they have been wonderful about taking care of both me and Brewster! I'm truly grateful.

I need to keep reminding myself of this when my dressing is itching like crazy, my arm hurts, my hoodie is falling off because I can only drape it over my shoulder, my ice pack falls on the floor and I can't reach it, and Brewster is trying to climb up into my lap!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

One-armed bandit

Monday night I fell down my stairs. It's an old house with steep, narrow stairs; I've fallen both up and down them several times before. But never this badly. I went tail over teakettle and hit the ground like a ton of bricks. I don't know if I was in shock, or just stunned, or what...but I picked myself up and went to bed. And slept through the night. The next morning I woke up before my alarm (first indicator that something isn't right), showered and started getting ready for work.

I knew something was wrong when I couldn't lift my right arm to wash or dry my hair. But I still managed to one-handedly wash and dress myself. At this point I was getting clued in that this wasn't just a bump or bruise. Since I couldn't lift my arm, I thought maybe I had dislocated my elbow trying to break my fall. But I wasn't sure and didn't was to alarm anyone unnecessarily, so I just drove myself to urgent care.

As soon as the doctor saw my arm, he said "yup, that looks broken." At which point I cursed out loud. An X-ray confirmed that it was indeed broken- badly. I was referred to an orthopedist, that day. At this point I started thinking I needed backup, so I called my dad. He was at the airport about to board a flight. As soon as he heard my voice, he knew something was very wrong. He cancelled his ticket and came to shuttle me around.

Urgent care referred me to an orthopedist I've actually been to before, and he's one of the best around. I knew I was in good hands.

After a couple more X-rays, he broke the bad news: I hadn't just broken the bone, I had shattered it, and I needed surgery.



By then I was so uncomfortable, if he had suggested amputation, it would have seemed like a reasonable option! I could feel the broken bones moving in my arm, occasionally hitting a nerve- NOT pleasant.

To make a long story short, I fell Monday night, went to the doctor Tuesday, and had surgery Thursday. It was supposed to be a 2-3 hour procedure, but of course with my luck....it was about 6 hours. When he got in it was even worse than he thought. So I'm typing this one-handed. I now have a plate and pins in my arm, as well as a pretty diesel arm brace:



I start physical therapy Monday, and I'm really hoping to be up and about soon!! I still can't believe I did this...I feel like such a butthead. It's not even a dramatic or interesting story!! But I guess I'm lucky it wasn't worse.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Knew this was too good to be true...

This evening I did (almost) all of my dishes, gave the dog a bath, went to bed early AND even fell asleep at a decent time.

Was just woken up by Brewster puking. IN MY BED. On my freshly washed blanket.

I'm not sure what upset his stomach: earlier tonight I caught him licking a lemon. Yes, a lemon. Then I caught him nibbling at my chocolate brownie. I think it was the smell of his own gas though- he likes to sleep under all the blankets and was pretty foul- I think he stunk himself out. Of course now he is snoring away and I'm still awake.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Post-holiday recap

Where does the time go?? I can't believe Christmas and New Year's are over already! I didn't take much time off for the holidays this year- I took a random day a couple weeks ago, then we had long weekends for both Christmas and New Year's....but that was it. I think I'm in need of some time off to recharge. I was talking about it today- I realized in the past couple years, I've had 5 different jobs. FIVE. And that doesn't even count the times I was bounced around through a few different departments at my current place. (Before you think I'm a crazy flake, there's a very good reason I've moved jobs so much: I work in politics, and last year was campaign season. 'Nuf said.)

Plus I bought my house. I won't even get into the madness at came along with THAT.

So the past couple years have been crazy ones. 2010 was particularly tumultuous for me, and I remember feeling relieved last New Year's eve just to have it over with! I didn't have quite as much upheaval in 2011, but I feel like I spent the year getting settled in: to my job, in my house. I watched my sweet dog Mac get sicker and sicker. Then before I knew it I found another dog, and that was a whole new process of both of us getting settled.

My goal for 2012 is to just be able to enjoy things more. Not be waiting for the next hurdle, but just to be happy for what's already here. I'm not big on resolutions, because I feel like if I need to do something, I need to do it- not because it's a certain day.

I had a very mellow New Year's even this year. Instead of going to a party or bar, I spent the night with one of my college roommates. It felt appropriate: her husband was in the Marines for a while, and I used to go visit her wherever they were stationed. I went to stay with her for a few New Year's eves when her husband was deployed. Now he's not in the service anymore, but he's away for work. She has a sick toddler and was staying home. So I went over, we got Chinese food and drank wine and champagne, played cards and watched the ball drop.

I'm hoping this New Year's eve will set the tone for this year for me- I'm ready for less hustle and more mellow!




(Brewster agrees and is doing his part to help me veg out- he has been parked ON me for most of the evening!)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad