Return of the prodigal son

My kid brother is moving back to town. And by "kid brother" I mean 30 years old. 30 going on 15.

It amazes me that we were raised in the same house, because we could not be more different. I'm the rule follower; he's the free spirit- pretty much the stereotypical oldest child/youngest child dynamic.

I love him dearly, but he drives me crazy. For starters, he's given my parents more than a few gray hairs. To put it bluntly, he really doesn't treat them well. At all. And that really bugs me. I may not always agree with them, but our parents have been amazingly good to both of us- they have always put us ahead of their own needs, and they've been there for both of us more than most other parents I know. Especially kid brother, who's had more scrapes and needed more bailing out than most. I wish he appreciated them a little more. Actually a lot more. Especially my dad, who's especially sensitive. And has a heart condition. (In my family, it's my dad who's the softie and my mom who's the tough one...kinda backwards. I'm much, much closer to my dad than I am to my mom.) I worry that one day my dad's going to have a stroke, because he gets so worked up over stuff kid brother does.

But. After years of fighting it, I've finally accepted that I can't change someone else. My brother is who he is. I don't have to agree with everything, but I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. Sometimes it makes me sad- I wish we were closer...or even close at all! I see some of my cousins, who take vacations together and genuinely enjoy hanging out with their siblings- it's like built-in best friends. But I can't force it, and I'm done setting myself up for failure and disappointment.

So now I just try to be there for him if needed, but not push too much. It's hard, because sometimes I want to slap him silly. Or slap my parents silly for enabling his bad behavior. But...I know they're all doing the best they can. My parents treat him much, much differently than they treat me, but I also have a much better relationship with them than my brother does.

This week - strike that, the past few weeks - has been ROUGH. Just way too much going on. Car shopping, insurance stuff, house stuff, work stuff, friend stuff...just way, way too much. And in the midst of everything, my parents were going crazy because they were trying to line up a job for kid brother. Which somehow I got roped into. (Don't ask.) Not what I needed.

So far 2012 has not been particularly kind to me. I'm really hoping that the second half gets better!! The good news is that despite all the craziness, I'm still standing. The house is still standing too, even though there are days I can't believe I signed on for all this.




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