Farewell, old friend

I had to clean out the Jetta this week. The salvage yard was coming to pick it up yesterday. It was a very sad day for me, and a very sad end for a car that's been really good to me.



It looked so pathetic sitting in the lot with no license plates!

I thought about all the life changes that car has been with me through- I broke up with my long term boyfriend (and lord only knows how many short term ones), road tripped to North Carolina solo in that car, and went through multiple jobs in the seven years I had the Jetta. It still had Mac's fur stuck between the seat cushions, and the front vents were permanently askew from times he pitched fits. When I cleaned out the trunk I found one of his favorite treats- when he knew he was going for a ride, he would often grab a chewee to take along with him!

I bought the Jetta brand new, and I was SO proud the day I brought it home. I had wanted a silver Jetta from the time I got my learner's permit so I was really excited to finally have one! Until I bought my house, that was the biggest investment I had ever made. And, best of all- it was paid off. Ironically,the month I bought my house was also the month I made my last car payment- the timing could not have been better. I'm stretched pretty thin with house stuff already, so I really don't want a car payment. Sadly, a 2004 Jetta with 120k miles on it isn't worth a whole lot on paper, even though it was very valuable to me! Even though it had a ton of miles, all of those miles were from me, and I knew it had been well cared for. I was really hoping it would make it to 200k, or at least a couple more years - and now that I have a 5 mile round-trip commute, I wasn't putting much wear on it, so I thought a couple more years was a reasonable goal.

But, that is not the case now, and instead I'm shopping for a replacement. This time I'm not shopping emotionally- I'm going to have to get something practical and affordable. After all, I'm a homeowner now! I don't really have the budget for a "fun" car. And yes, insurance has offered a settlement, but as is the case with older cars, it's really not enough to replace what I had.

I keep reminding myself that things could have been much, much worse- if the other driver had been going just a little bit faster, we would have been badly hurt (or worse). And I am grateful we're ok. The good thing about cars is they can be replaced. But I'm still a little sad.

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The hits keep coming

It has been a rough couple weeks: split up with the boy, a nasty stomach bug that just won't quit...and then last week I was in a car accident. A guy ran through a red light and t-boned my car:



It was scary, but I'm really, really lucky it wasn't worse. My friend was in the car with me, and he had Brewster in his lap. Brewster was totally fine, thank goodness, and we are sore and scared, but ok.

The car...not so ok. But it's fixable or replaceable, which ever it comes to. I'm still waiting for the police report, so I can't really get the ball rolling with insurance without it. So I'm carless for the time being, and I don't know if my car will be repaired or totaled. It's been a pain in the neck, but I keep reminding myself that it could have been a lot worse.

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Wordless Wednesday

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Kicked when you're down

I've still got the vicious stomach bug, and, to add insult to injury...things with the guy did not work out. Not gonna lie, I'm bumming.

Ironically we made it through my bionic arm brace - I thought that would send him running in the opposite direction, but it didn't - and he even hung around through the first day of my nasty stomach flu. (Which yes, was just two days ago. Two days. Everything with us was fine this weekend.) He even made me pancakes and rubbed my back after I threw up. So today came a little out of left field.

We weren't ever "exclusive." So I knew that there was a good chance there were other girls in his life. And I hadn't totally cut out the other guys in mine. But I was ok with that, for the most part.

There were a few things here and there at bugged me- nothing that was a deal breaker, but stuff that I could see turning into a deal breaker down the road. For example: our lifestyles are completely different. I'm not dead-set on staying here my whole life, but I'm currently living 20 miles from where I grew up, and I'm super close to my family. I have a straight up 9-5 working for The Man. I own a house and need to know I have a regular paycheck. I like stability. He's really transient- basically lives out of a couple suitcases. His family and friends are all over the world. His job is unpredictable. His lifestyle is NOT conducive to having a family.

I was ok with all that, for now, but I could see it becoming a problem later. And there were a few other much bigger issues that I was having a hard time being ok with now.

He's divorced. His marriage ended because of infidelity. He didn't just cheat one time; he had a relationship with someone else that led to the breakup of his marriage. That bothered me. And I had a hard time because (and this is something I'm not proud of, but) I've cheated in past relationships. So I like to think that the adage "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't true, because I'd like to think there's hope for me.

But it bothered me that he was committed enough to one person that he got down on one knee and promised to spend the rest of his life with her, and then two years into it, he changed his mind. I know that's harsh, but I also know that would have been in the back of my mind.

The biggest issue was that he's an atheist. Not something I knew coming in. And if I had known, I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. My feelings on religion are hard for me to talk about- being raised catholic, I'm just not super comfortable verbalizing how I feel about God. And although I'm certainly not practicing now, I do still identify myself as catholic. Even though my beliefs don't necessarily jive with all the catholic teachings, I do believe in God and my faith is important to me.

So things were far from ideal, and yet, I really liked this guy. A lot. It's been so long since I actually opened myself up to someone- years, actually. It was scary as hell for me. Having it not work out is a tough blow. And the worst part is I'm broke and sick- so I can't take myself shopping to cheer myself up, and I can't even drown my sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's . This really, really sucks.


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How I'm spending my sick day

I'm home sick today, not fun. I've had some kind of stomach issue for the past couple days. Brewster is psyched that I'm home with him!

Random observation: you can go months without watching a soap opera, yet pick up right where you left off! Y&R and B&B, I'm looking at you. Still Nikki and Victor/Brooke and Ridge going back and forth.

Here's what we've been up to all day:








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Burnout

I'm so glad this week is almost over!! This has been one of those weeks where I feel like I'm just getting it from all sides. Work is crazy, friends are crazy, other stuff is crazy...I've reached my limit. The only logical explanation I've got is that there's a full moon.




B looks like a little old man when he sleeps. He's snuffling and snoring next to me right now.

Random pet peeve: when someone cheats at Words With Friends. It infuriates me. I'm a total word nerd- I've got a pretty decent vocabulary. So when someone - who, let's be honest, isn't the sharpest tack in the drawer - keeps throwing down words I've never even heard of....something's shady. It's really freaking annoying me!

Worst part: it's someone who was on the boo list. Was. His appeal was fading, but this totally killed it. Guys who cheat at nerd games totally tick me off. I think it's indicative of larger asshole tendencies. Case in point: the then-boyfriend of one of my college friends cheated at Trivial Pursuit several years ago. On the final, game ending hub question. He told my team we had the wrong answer. We had guessed on the answer, so when he said we were wrong, we didn't know any better. Then we made it into the hub again, and we KNEW we had the right answer. Since we won anyway, he admitted that our previous hub answer was correct as well. I've hated him since. And guess what? I was right- he's not a nice guy. Except now they're married.

Cheating at WWF (and Trivial Pursuit, and whatever else...) is a turnoff for numerous reasons. First, it grosses me out that someone isn't smart enough to hold their own in a stupid word game. I like smart guys who can keep up a witty banter and talk about random nerdy stuff. Someone who's not even smooth enough to cheat at WWF subtly just doesn't cut it. And also- I think there's something to be said for losing gracefully. I've certainly had plenty of practice! We can't win all the time, and you have to be able to take the punches. And be a man about it, for pete's sake! If you're not ok with your shortcomings, don't play the game. But mostly, it just takes the fun out of it. What's the point of playing if you're fixing the game?

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Injured pup

Brewster was jumping around on the couch tonight and I noticed little spots of blood. At first I freaked out..then gave him a once-over. Somehow he scraped the "knuckle" pad on one of his back legs. I couldn't find medical tape, but fortunately he's little enough that band-aids fit around his leg. Once I chased him down, he was actually really good about letting me clean and bandage his leg! He hasn't even tried to pick at his bandage.



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