My former college roommate is afraid of squirrels, which I've always found wildly amusing. So, for birthdays, holidays, etc, I send her cards with squirrels on them, I post squirrel pics on her Facebook wall...you catch my drift.
Growing up in the boondocks, I should have known better. There's a reason squirrels are scary- they're MEAN! When I was in high school, we had squirrels in our garage. A mama squirrel built a nest and had babies up in the loft of the garage. One day mama squirrel got shut out of the garage, and the babies were stuck inside. That squirrel nearly chewed through the garage door. Of course my dad was out of town that week, so my mom called her brother to come take care of the situation. Uncle Ronnie chased the squirrels out of the loft with a hockey stick. One of them got left behind and made a flying leap to try to catch up with its siblings....and it landed on Uncle Ronnie's head.
This is what was going through my head during my trek up the staircase. The stairs scale a hill that's about 3-4 stories high, and the whole way this guy was staying just a few paces ahead of me:
When we reached the top of the stairs he had nowhere else to go, and I was nervous. I had to go through that trellis, and I was not going to risk having a squirrel jump on my head. I finally talked him down off the trellis...yes, literally- I talked to a squirrel.
When I got home, two guys were having a verbal altercation in the street in front of my house (driving related- I think one cut the other off?). As one guy was cursing at the other, I realized he had two little kids in the backseat. Klassy.
Then I went upstairs, and my kitchen looked and smelled like a barnyard animal had taken up residence...thanks Mac.
I may or may not have had chocolate cake for dinner.
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